Addiction is a disease. Its progressive, prolonged, potentially fatal, and positively treatable. If you are addicted to drugs and alcohol you may feel:
Every day is groundhogs day. There doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. Something needs to change… everything needs to change. Its overwhelming. You have no idea where to even begin.
Too many people have turned their backs. You can’t ask again, even this one last time. Or, if people found out, your world would feel like its caving in. What would they think? Secrets feel safe, even when they keep you sick.
When you have run out of money and drugs, or its been several hours or even a day or two since your last drink or drug, you feel awful. Everything from shakes to sweating to muscle aches to constipation to vomiting; you know why its happening.
Honestly, you probably use in response to every emotion. You can’t make feelings suddenly disappear. They have to go somewhere; they have to come out. Maybe in the beginning it felt like alcohol and drugs made the emotions easier… maybe now the emotions are bigger… maybe now the emotions got so big that its just too much and you feel hollow.
Has there ever been a “bad” time to use? You use when things are good or bad, happy or sad, up or down. You use to punish yourself and praise yourself. You use to punish others and praise others
You question if therapy works; if therapy will work for you. Maybe you only know rehabs and group therapy from the movies; maybe you could sketch the meditation garden perfectly from memory from your last inpatient program.
The stops and starts have been going on for so long it feels almost hopeless. You wonder what could possibly be different this time. What else needs to change?
Everything is urgent and everything is important. How can you possibly know which first step is going to be the right one?
Watching a loved one battle the disease of addiction is life changing. You never thought this would happen or perhaps you hoped this one would be different. Being a part of this destructive disease can leave you feeling: